buzz buzz buzz

animalstalkinginallcaps:

ALAN, HAVE YOU SEEN MY EXPERIMENTAL SYNTHETIC MESCALINE? IT WAS CLEVERLY DISGUISED AS A PACK OF DENTYNE CHEWING GUM IN CASE JOHN LAW COMES POKING AROUND AGAIN. ONE “PIECE” IS SO CONCENTRATED IT CAN BE DISSOLVED TO YIELD OVER 200 DOSES. I MIGHT HAVE A MASTER’S DEGREE IN CHEMISTRY BUT THAT INDUSTRIAL DESIGN MINOR REALLY COMES IN HANDY. I’M BASICALLY THE TOTAL PACKAGE.

ALAN?

ALAN I’M TALKING TO YOU. DON’T IGNORE ME. WE HAD THAT TALK LAST MONTH ABOUT RESPECTING ONE ANOTHER AS ROOMMATES. YOU’RE HURTING MY FEELINGS.